‘Why did you call your blog The Kettle has Emphysema?’ no-one asked me ever. In the absence of any data, I can only assume that this means one of three things.

1. It’s obvious why
2. No one is curious (translation = no one cares)
3. The one person who is curious just hasn’t got around to asking me yet.

I don’t think it’s obvious. I expect it is probably that no one cares, but as that doesn’t really lend itself well to needing to write an explanatory post, I’m going to indulge myself and pretend that it is the third.

So, why did I call my blog The Kettle has Emphysema?

Well, I’m glad you asked and I’m happy to say it’s really quite simple. I needed to come up with a unique name that didn’t really mean anything but was quirky enough to get people curious, so I did what I always do when I need to think – I put the kettle¹ on.

Our kettle is twelve human years old or 60.7 dog years old (I’m able to be that precise as I’ve used this dog age calculator to work this out, based on the assumption that my poor kettle works its butt off like an Australian Cattle Dog).

So, I switched the kettle on and it started doing its thing, which for the last few months has been accompanied by a death rattle. We’ve been expecting the kettle to kark it² ever since it started making that noise, but it somehow just keeps on keeping on, stoic in the face of death. Anyway, this got me thinking about daily battles, and chronic disease, and how the kettle actually sounds like it has emphysema³.

Bingo. Job done.

¹ For those who are wondering about the difference between a kettle and an electric jug, check out the information provided by the Tamworth Powerstation Museum.  Who knew that electric jugs were only ever made in Australian and New Zealand? Them, obviously, and now me too. Check it out to join the knowledge club.

² This is not a spelling error. In Australian slang, when something karks it, it dies. Brutal, I know.

³ Apologies to Nanna’s late friend Ron who had emphysema and suffered terribly. It is an awful, awful disease.